Saturday, September 30, 2017

I Know What You Did Last Summer

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This is a movie I have an interesting relationship with. I'd seen bits and pieces of it when I was little, and I didn't really pay any attention to it. It wasn't until I was in high school that I actually sat down and watched it all the way through. I hated it. I only really cared about one of the characters. The rest were kind of unlikable. I watched it again now that I'm in college. The thing that surprised me was that watching it again, I kind of liked it. I kind of realized some of the acting was better than I had initially given it credit for in the past. While I personally hated Ryan Philippe's character in the movie. He was a giant douche bag. I'll give the actor himself credit. I think he did a good job playing the part. Johnny Galecki is pretty fun playing a smarmy creep. He's not in the movie very long, but I definitely think he leaves an impression, even if he slips in and out of a southern accent some of the time. One opinion I had the first time I watched the movie (and still have) is that Sarah Michelle Gellar is the best part of the movie. She's the best acted character in the movie, and the only character I really felt invested in. Plot-wise, I liked the mystery aspect of it more. I knew where the movie was going this time around, yes. What I did realize this time around was that there were about four or five characters that were given heavy suspicion throughout the movie. Because they were all such heavy-handed, it never really felt like one of them was a bigger red herring than any of the others. Just because I enjoyed it more this time around, that doesn't mean I think it's perfect by any means. There's still some major flaws in the movie. Jennifer Love Hewitt and Freddie Prinze, Jr. felt too flat compared to the rest of the cast. I honestly think I would've preferred it if the four main actors all switched roles. I say this because I think their performances were part of the reason their characters never drew me in. As much as I enjoyed the mystery, the final reveal of the fisherman almost felt underwhelming. It didn't make a ton of sense, and they didn't really explain it all that well. Overall, this is a movie I've really come around on recently. I still recognize a lot of flaws and problems, but I don't think it's anywhere near the piece of shit I used to think it was.

6 / 10 

All Eyez on Me

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All Eyez on Me is based on the true story of rapper Tupac Shakur. This is one of the movies I was looking forward to the most this year, and was one of the most underwhelming experiences I had with a movie so far this year. For the most part, the acting is solid. Demetrius Shipp, Jr. is excellent in the lead role as the late rapper. I would also like to compliment Danai Guirira, Jamal Woolard, and Kat Graham playing Afina Shakur, rapper Biggie Smalls, and Jada Pinkett respectively. Unfortunately, it’s everything else that kind of falls apart. Starting off with acting, the kid actors and the actress who plays Pac’s sister are terrible. There is no emotion in anything any of them say. The editing, writing, and directing are horrible. The best comparison I can make is 2015’s Straight Outta Compton. That movie was about twenty minutes longer than this movie. For me, Straight Outta Compton felt well paced and actually breezed by for me. I bring this up because All Eyez on Me is horribly paced. It’s a chore to sit through and feels longer than its 2 hour and 20 minute runtime. On top of that, it glosses over a lot important things, making this movie feel more like greatest hits of Pac’s accomplishments. They have a framework involving Pac in prison being interviewed by a journalist (played by Hill Harper, who is also good in the movie). I don’t have a problem with that. Where my issues with the movie come in are when they just introduce characters to the movie out of the blue. People like Suge Knight and Biggie Smalls are introduced into the movie at points in their lives where they’ve already known Pac. We don’t really know how they met, when they met, or why they met. Sometimes, the scene transition will just be one of 2Pac’s music videos, and in the terms of filmmaking, editing, and segues in general, it feels sloppy. Ocassionally, the movie will show fistfights. I don’t have a problem with this idea. My issue is that they’ll use one of my least favorite filmmaking techniques to film them. That technique is shaky cam. The bottom line is: This movie sucks! Don’t watch it.


2 / 10        

Friday, September 29, 2017

Sharknado 5: Global Swarming

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Sharknado 5 is exactly what you expect it to be. This is a god-awful movie, and I kind of love it. The acting is atrocious on just about every level possible. Ian Ziering and Cassie Scerbo probably come the closest to being hallway decent. I can’t quite call them “good” per se, but they’re close to it. Tara Reid is about as bad you’d expect her to be (and I actually find it hilarious that they’re still expecting me to buy her as a superhero figure). What I will say is this; she’s far from the worst performer in the movie. I can also say the same thing about Dolph Lundgren. He’s not in the movie all that much, but is one of the few welcomed presences. The worst performers in the movie are easily Chris Kattan and Billy Barratt. From the get-go, Kattan’s hilariously bad English accent is off-putting. Billy Barratt plays Gil, the son of Ziering and Reid’s characters. This kid is the most annoying thing in the movie (and maybe one of the most annoying kid characters I’ve ever seen in a movie. The best thing I can say about these two is that they aren’t in the movie very much. The effects are awful once again. Then again, that is something I would expect out of a Syfy channel original movie. My favorite scene in this movie has to be a scene where the three main characters are skiing down a mountain, trying to get close to the sharknado to the tune of The Kids Aren’t Alright by The Offspring. It really doesn’t make any sense or have anything to do with the story. I also kind of love the cameo by Brett Michaels. This is one of those movies that awful on almost every conceivable level. There are some scenes that pretty damn fun because of how ridiculous the movie gets, and a couple of performances are almost good.


4 / 10   

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Beauty and the Beast

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Beauty and the Beast is the latest of Disney’s live action remakes. It’s a well-known story. As the song goes: “Tale as old as time. Song as old as Rhyme.” A beautiful girl named Belle (played by Emma Watson) takes the place of her imprisoned father (played by Kevin Kline) in the castle of a beast (played by Dan Stevens). Over time, the two begin to fall in love. The beast was once a vain, handsome prince cursed to look as ugly on the outside as he was on the inside. He must find someone who loves him for who he is, and not what he looks like. Visually, this movie is amazing. The costumes and sets are fantastic. On the other hand, the CGI used for the beast didn’t look very good. Director Bill Condon shows some flair when directing the musical numbers. For the most part, the cast is great. The parts feel like they were perfectly cast. The best performances in the movie are Dan Stevens, Kevin Kline, and Luke Evans (playing Gaston).  Evans in particular is perfect as the pompous villain. He’s clearly having a ball in this movie. He is intimidating when he needs to be angry, but also laces it with some comedic elements as well. Now, I don’t want to take away from the voice performers either. As usual, Ian McKellen, Stanley Tucci, Emma Thompson, and Ewan McGregor give their all. That said, Audra MacDonald and Gugu Mbatha-Raw feel out of place. There are some deviations from the animated movie. For example, Gaston’s right hand man Le Fou (played by Josh Gad) is gay in this version. However, there aren’t enough deviations from the original movie that make me believe this movie can easily stand on its own. One thing I did notice was that the movie did drag quite a bit at times. The occasional song that was added into this movie just didn’t measure up to the songs that were carried over from the animated movie. Overall, I can’t help but feel this movie was a mixed bag at best. The story dragged out a bit too much, and felt far too familiar. The acting was good for the most, but felt spotty at times. The makeup, costumes, and sets were all good. The CGI was excellent on the household items, but looked awful on the beast. Chalk this up to a movie the critics liked that I just couldn’t get into.


5 / 10       

Monday, September 18, 2017

Linkin Park - A Thousand Suns

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The album opens with an intro track called The Requiem. This is a perfect way to introduce the album. It’s fairly creepy and haunting. It’s actually something that could get you excited for the rest of the album. The next track is called The Radiance. The track is awful. It is completely unnecessary, and serves no purpose to the album. All it feels like is a tacked on introduction. It doesn’t connect to the former track or the next track in any way. As a song, Burning in the Skies doesn’t work nearly as well as it should. Mike Shinoda and Chester Bennington warp their voices to points that they just don’t feel recognizable. The instrumental buildup of the song is good, but the song has not aged well. By the time the 4 minutes of this song are up, it just falls apart. The next track is a 20 second interlude called Empty Spaces. This is a track that feels like it completely embodies this album as a whole. Much like The Radiance, you wouldn’t miss it if it were cut from the album completely. All it is is the sounds of gunshots and war. When They Come for Me is okay at best. Shinoda’s rapping is solid. The instruments start off well enough, but the sound has not aged well. As much as I loved Chester Bennington as a singer, he just doesn’t contribute to this song. Most of what he does is a chanting sound. When he does start singing lyrics, it is the same lyric over and over. Robot Boy is one of those tracks that until I had to listen to it again, I remembered nothing about. I listened to it again just before writing this review. I listened to the album in full a week ago. This isn’t the worst track on the album, but it’s not good either. It is completely forgettable. Jordana del Muerto is another interlude that feels like it doesn’t need to be there. I honestly thought it was just Robot Boy continuing (the most I actually remembered about that track). The problem is that doesn’t make it feel distinct or worth your time. Waiting for the End is the first legitimately good thing on the album since the intro. Chester and Mike feel like the Chester and Mike of the previous albums. The chorus is amazing. The instruments are really good. I really like the song’s slow build and softer feel. Blackout starts out by offering some promise. Then (and I hate to say this) Chester comes in, and sinks the whole song for. This song, to me, represents the worst of what Linkin Park’s attempt at blending their old style and their new style gave us. This song has aged horribly. The warping is atrocious. The instruments that started off all right devolved by the end of the song. On the other hand, Wretches and Kings feels like it was the best blend of the two styles on this album. The one knock I really have against this song is that doesn’t age well. The next track is called Wisdom, Justice and Love. The overall track is just a speech by Martin Luther King, Jr. set to an instrumental backdrop. The thing just kind of gets distorted as the track goes on. I understand what they were trying to do, but I just don’t think the final result works nearly as well as it should have. Iridescent is one of those songs that fellow Linkin Park fans praise, but I never really connected with. Listening to it now, I think this is one of the few songs on the album that time has actually been kind to. It isn’t perfect by any means. I don’t the instruments do enough to really stand out. Mike and Chester both sing on the track. While I do feel Mike’s singing has improved, it still isn’t anything spectacular. The next track is called Fallout. I don’t really have anything to say about this song. It’s another awful interlude with intentionally robotic singing that I don’t care nearly enough about to remember five minutes from now. The next track is The Catalyst. This is the lead single off the album. What else can I say that hasn’t actually been said? This song is amazing. This is what this album should have been. It actually would’ve gotten me excited for this album. Yes, there is repetition, but it really works in terms of the breakdown that song wants to get across. The final track is called The Messenger. This feels more like an acoustic ballad where it sounds like a singer that I actually think is a good singer is intentionally singing poorly. Couple that with the tonal whiplash of going into this following The Catalyst, this album doesn’t so much end on a triumphant note as it does a limp one. Overall, I respect Linkin Park wanting to try something do. There were songs on this album that really showed that A Thousand Suns could have been a fantastic album. The sum of the parts just didn’t add up in the end unfortunately. This is the first time I really remember being disappointed in a project from a band that is a personal favorite.


2.3 / 5