The Pool (a.k.a. Swimming Pool)

A group of "high school students" break into a closed down pool for a graduation party. I'll be honest, if you've rad any of my past reviews, you'll know I tend to be on the forgiving side of a lot of slasher movies. This... is not going to be one of those cases. I like a couple of the performances, namely the performances by a young Isla Fisher and a young James McAvoy before either of them really got big. There's at least one kill in the movie I think is genuinely entertaining. A couple of scenes are directed decently enough, I suppose. Isla Fisher's character in the film is only in two scenes. The backstory given to this character feels more interesting and thought out than the backstory given to the actual final girl. Okay, even by slasher movie standards, most of these characters feel incredibly stock. A couple of them are also really hard to tell apart from one another. Literally, three of the male characters in this movie have similar build and short black hair in a buzz cut. The killer's costume also looks stupid. It doesn't look like the costume I would expect out of the villain in a slasher movie. It looks like a costume worn by a lame supervillain. 

 But, this movie commits what is perhaps the greatest sin a movie can commit. It is just plain boring, especially in the first half. I've already mentioned that I don't particularly care about most of the characters. So, that probably doesn't help that much at all. Even as someone who is a bit of an apologist for cheesy slasher movies, I can't bring myself to recommend this. It really isn't worth your time or effort. 

4 / 10 

Identity

Identity follows a group of strangers stranded at a motel who must eventually work to stay alive when a mysterious killer begins picking them off one by one. This is a movie I had heard of but had never seen until recently. Now that I have had a chance to check it out, I am so glad I did. For starters, I love the cast. The actors in this film include John Cusack, Ray Liotta, Amanda Peet, Alfred Molina, and Jake Busey. This movie starts off fairly simple, and you think it's going to go one way. But, there are a couple of solid twists in the movie that I won't spoil in my review. Props should also go to director James Mangold. The man does an excellent job building up atmosphere in this movie. I could potentially pick apart the characters for not being too deep. However, in this movie it almost feels like it's by design. That's not me saying they're super shallow either. I personally feel that this movie gives the characters just enough depth. Overall, Identity works as a mystery-horror movie with some legitimately clever twists. It's not one I hear talked about a lot in day to day conversations, But I honestly think it deserves to be. If you get the chance, give this movie a watch.  

9 / 10 

Knives Out

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Knives Out is a murder-mystery film in the vein of movies like Clue that follows a detective (played by Daniel Craig) trying to suss out foul play among a family of rich, greedy assholes. That’s about all I can give away about the plot of this movie without giving away any spoilers. This is a mystery movie after all. Where’s the fun in giving everything away. The cast is amazing. Some of the names in the film include Jamie Lee Curtis, Michael Shannon, Toni Collette, Don Johnson, Christopher Plummer and Chris Evans. From a performance standpoint, I really have to give props to Evans in a performance that feels so different from his playing Captain America for the past decade. I also have to give props to Ana de Armas who plays the dead man’s primary caretaker. The twists and turns in the film actually feel natural. You realize the clues are there that you may or may not have been paying attention to, which may actually warrant repeat viewings in the future to see if you can catch something you might have missed previously. I can’t say for sure, as I have only seen the film once so far. The film is gorgeous to look at as well. Overall, Knives Out is one of those movies where everything just sort of clicked for me, and I loved it.   

10 / 10 

Jessica Jones - Season 3

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So, I have now finished the third and final season of Jessica Jones on Netflix. This time around, Jessica has to hunt down a serial killer, all while attempting to mend the relationships she had left broken following the events of the show's second season. I suppose I should start with the issues I had throughout the season, because they are honestly very minor problems. Some of the supporting characters act in ways I really don't feel they should act, as it doesn't completely feel like the characters we have come to know throughout the entirety of the series. On the other hand, the ending doesn't really feel like a series finale, so much as a season finale. I have no idea if this third season was written and filmed with the possibility of a fourth season in mind. While I don't particularly mind the show's slower pace, there actually were points where I wanted things to speed up a little bit. Okay, now I should talk about the things I liked. For starters, the actors all do a good job. Naturally, the standout to me is Krysten Ritter as Jessica Jones. I like Gregory Sallinger as a villain. Because Sallinger doesn't have superhuman gifts, he brings a very different kind of menace to this show. He forces Jessica to use her intellect more than her brute strength. I also want to compliment the writers on how they handled the character of Trish Walker this season. They took her to a whole new place, and it made sense to me after how unlikable she was during the second season. Her character arc actually makes sense, and feels completely natural. Is this my absolute favorite when it comes the Marvel Netflix seasons? No, but I still think it is genuinely worthwhile. The third and final season of Jessica Jones has some stumbles, but it also has a lot working in its favor as well.

B+

Murder Mystery

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Murder Mystery is a new Netflix film starring Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston as a bumbling married couple that find themselves accidentally drawn into a murder plot when a billionaire played by Luke Evans invites them to spend the weekend on his yacht. I had reached a point where I had begun to write Sandler off. So, let me just say that Murder Mystery was one hell of a surprise for me. Considering the fact that practically every single one of his Netlfix comedies has sucked up until this point, I really wasn’t expecting much. But, this was one of the first movies he’s done in a while that legitimately made me laugh, and that I don’t really feel ashamed to admit it made me laugh. OK, the laughs weren’t belly laughs so much as a series of chuckles and snickers throughout. But, it’s better than nothing. I also legitimately found myself invested in the actual mystery, legitimately trying to guess who the killer was. The characters all feel appropriate for the film they are in. Most of these are kind of quirky and weird (as well as being genuinely bad people). I also have to admit that this film actually plays with some of the tropes of murder mysteries in ways I didn’t see coming, and I kind of love that. The cast all seems to be genuinely invested in this film (yes, even Adam Sandler for the first time in a while). Do I believe this film is going to be ranked alongside some of Sandler’s classics like Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore? No. I also don’t think it quite ranks alongside murder mystery comedies like Clue and Murder By Death. I do give Murder Mystery something of a soft recommendation, mostly because it’s the first Sander film I have seen a while that I thought was genuinely funny, and I can’t really argue with that. 

7 / 10 

Batman: Gotham By Gaslight

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So, it’s been a while since I’ve gotten the chance to review one of the DC Animated movies. The conceit of Gotham By Gaslight is something akin to a ‘what if’ story. This one deals with the idea of what if Batman fought Jack the Ripper. This film really has fun with the idea. It was interesting to see the changes given to some of the characters within the Batman mythos. I can’t go into spoilers with those characters, really. After all, who wants to give away the twists in murder mystery? The animation is pretty solid. I don’t know if I see it as some DC’s best animation work, but the effort is still there, and it should be recognized for this reason. I’ll admit that I wasn’t actually aware going in that this movie carries an R rating. But, I think the movie is actually better for it. The voice cast is generally pretty solid. Bruce Greenwood is almost on par with Kevin Conroy in terms of voicing Batman. I also loved Anthony Head as Alfred in this film. It truly makes the dynamic between Bruce and Alfred feel timeless in my opinion. I was a bit surprised by Jennifer Carpenter as Selina Kyle. Don’t get me wrong, I think she’s a good actress. The last time I heard her lend her voice to a comic book character (Black Widow in Avengers Confidential: Black Widow/Punisher), it just wasn’t something that worked for me. But, she actually worked for me in this movie, and I have to respect that. I’m almost disappointed that there isn’t really a chance to fill out this world a little bit more. This movie is based off of a one-shot comic with the same name. The movie does take some liberties as an adaptation, and they don’t all sit right with me. Without giving too much away, the big thing that didn’t sit right with me—even before looking up the story of the graphic novel—was the reveal of Jack the Ripper. I didn’t necessarily hate it, and I did just kind of accept it. However, that doesn’t make it any less of a flaw in my eyes. This is especially true when I thought to myself “what if it was this character instead?” Overall, I enjoyed Batman: Gotham By Gaslight, despite some of its rockier moments. 

6 / 10 

Show Dogs

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Police dog Max (voiced by Ludacris - clearly waiting for the next Fast and the Furious movie to come along) is teamed up with human FBI agent Frank (played by Will Arnett) to find a stolen baby panda. In order to do so, Max is entered into a Las Vegas dog show. After having watched this movie all the way through, I'm legitimately convinced I have come out dumber for having seen this movie. Show Dogs isn't just a bad movie. It is one of the absolute stupidest, laziest, lowest-common denominator hunks of flaming dogshit I have ever seen. And I'm not just talking about the movies I've reviewed in the past four years I've had this blog, and have actually been writing movie reviews. I'm taking about the movies I have seen in my entire life. There isn't a single frame of this movie that can be enjoyed on any level. The CGI is atrocious. The movie acts a career low-point for almost everyone involved. For further proof, the cast includes Alan Cumming, the only one that I think is the exception (only because I hate Son of the Mask slightly more), and Shaquille O'Neal (whose film credits include Kazaam, Steel, Grown Ups 2, Blended, and Jack and Jill). Yes, that's how low a lot of this cast sinks. When I would (gun to my head) rather watch Shaq's cameo performance in Jack and Jill than a single frame of this thing, then you know it's a bad sign. The movie makes references to Turner & Hooch (a vastly superior film in every way). Every single joke falls flat. The meta jokes in this movie aren't even a little bit clever. They actually make a Lego Movie joke because Will Arnett was in that movie (something I'm sure he was wishing he could be doing instead). Hell, I'm convinced he'd rather have another Michael Bay, Megan Fox Ninja Turtles movie come his way. At least those movies could leave him with some dignity. This is also the worst film from director Raja Gosnell. This is the same guy who directed both live-action Smurfs movies and Home Alone 3. Nobody comes out of this movie looking good. The saddest cast member involvement in this movie has got to be Stanley Tucci (who also clearly doesn't give a shit about anything he's doing here).At a point, I think I might have actually suffered a break in my mental sanity. I would say that this should have come out twenty years ago. The weird thing is, even twenty years ago, I'm pretty sure most people would be shocked to find out that this was a theatrical release. This doesn't even deserve to be one of those movies you'd only randomly find when you're walking through the relatively small DVD section of some gas station in the middle of nowhere. There are two types of movies where I hate the bad films in those genres more than the bad films in any other genre. I hate bad family films, and I hate bad comedies. Show Dogs was both. Not only did I get angry because this movie treats its target audience like idiots. But, I was also angry because making me laugh is one of the easiest things in the world to do. You know a movie's bad when it fails to make even the most easily amused person laugh. Don't watch this, you'll get nothing out of it but misery.

0 / 10 

The Happytime Murders

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In a world where humans and puppets co-exist in everyday life, the world's first puppet cop, named Phil Phillips, is now a private detective who had been disgraced as a cop. When someone starts killing the cast members of a puppet-led sitcom called The Happytime Gang, Phillips must team up with his old partner (played by Melissa McCarthy) to solve the murders. This movie was a solid way to kill 90 minutes. I honestly found it genuinely funny, despite being torn apart by most critics. There were some moments where I genuinely belly-laughed, though I will admit there weren't a ton of those. That said, I did laugh a lot throughout. I also actually bought the chemistry between Melissa McCarthy and the puppet, which is something that can easily be difficult to do. The sense of humor leans heavily into raunch territory, which is going to be off-putting for a lot of people. This is something that could have backfired, but it really worked for me. Some of the jokes with Joel McHale did get old after awhile because they just felt like variations of the same joke. The Happytime Murders worked in a lot of the areas where it should have worked. The performances worked for me. The mystery worked for me. Occasionally, some of the jokes don't land (which is typical for a comedy). This is a movie I recommend seeing, but only as a rental, and not in theaters.

7 / 10 

Murder on the Orient Express

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Murder on the Orient Express is the newest film to be based off of Agatha Christie’s novel of the same name. The movie is directed by and stars Kenneth Branagh as Hercule Poirot, a character deemed as “perhaps the greatest detective in the world.” He is on a train with a bunch of strangers. One night, one of the passengers is murdered and Poirot must find out who committed the crime while an avalanche blocks off the train. Brannagh as Poirot is excellent. It’s been a long time since I’ve actually read the novel, so I don’t remember how accurate the movie is to the book. The character has his share of odd quirks, and the comedic feel is really damn good. Johnny Depp is probably at the best he’s been in a little while. The character does feel a little exaggerated, but it doesn’t feel as extreme as it’s been in something like Mortdecai. His character is pretty creepy, and actually isn’t a guy you like very much. Daisy Ridley, Michelle Pfeiffer, Josh Gad, Penelope Cruz, Leslie Odom,Jr., and Willem Dafoe should all be commended as well. These are characters that are given some good dramatic moments, and the actors all deliver. While I can say Olivia Colman, Manuel Garcia-Rufol, and Judi Dench were good as well, their more dramatic moments never felt as though they were particularly well served. The characters of the Count and the Countess felt like they were lost in the shuffle. I remember seeing them near the beginning of the film, but by the time they were brought back, I forgot they were still there, which isn’t necessarily a great sign for a murder mystery. The production design is excellent, and the interior of the train is fantastic. At times, there are some of uses of CGI. It’s not one of those things that everybody is going to notice, even if I did. I didn’t think it looked that great, but it’s a nitpick, and doesn’t happen very often. Murder on the Orient Express is a movie that some chinks in the armor here and there, but works more often than it doesn’t.

7 / 10