Friday, May 29, 2020

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

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It amazes me to watch this movie nearly 20 years later, and see just how well it holds up. I should start with my negatives with the movie because they are really just minor nitpicks. Some of the action felt a little bit choppy to me, and wasn't always the easiest for me to make out. Some of the choppy slow motion was also a little bit odd to me. Yep, that's about it for negatives for me. Everything just worked for me. The actors all felt perfectly suited to their respective roles. After nearly 20 years, the visuals are still incredible. In fact, I think a lot of the special effects look better than some movies that have only come out in the past couple of years. For the most part, I do think this movie stands on its own, which is not always the case. This movie does a great job building the world its characters inhabit. I also love the little teases to the greater lore of Middle-Earth that I really understand better as I have grown older. The characters feel so rich, even some of the smaller characters where I may not know a lot about them, but would love to know and learn more. Overall, there were a couple of editing and filmmaking choices that did feel a touch dated to me. However, everything else about the film still holds up from the perspective of 2020. I have always been a fan of these movies, and have never really gotten much of a chance to talk about them. 

9 / 10 

Thursday, May 21, 2020

The Hunt

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The Hunt is sort of a modern retelling of The Most Dangerous Game. This movie was originally meant to come out last year, but was pushed back because of the perceived political bent. Yes, some of that is there. It didn't really bother me because I feel that this movie was genuinely critical of both sides. This movie is actually kind of hard for me talk about. Some of the best parts of this movie came because they were surprises. It wouldn't feel right for me to give them away in a review. The one real flaw I have with this movie is the fact that the characters aren't very deep. The cast all works pretty well for the roles they have. Plot-wise, this movie is pretty simple. It's people hunting other people. I should say that the villains' motivation is pettiness, and I kind of love that.  As for the exact reason why the villains are being so petty, I don't want to give that away. Overall, The Hunt isn't particularly deep or complex. However, it is fun enough for a one-time watch. I wish I had more to say about this movie, but the movie's simple. Therefore, my review is simple.

6 / 10 

Thursday, May 14, 2020

Christmas Break-In

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Yes. I know. I chose to watch and review a Christmas movie in the middle of May. Let's just say that this movie is...Something. It's about a young girl named Izzy. Her parents forget her at school the day Christmas break starts. They freak out in a performance that feels like a bad community theater performance of the freak the parents have near the beginning of Home Alone, and get into their own set of shenanigans while they are trying to get to the school. So, while Izzy's pretty much stuck at school. The only remaining adult kind of just takes her at her word when she lies to him and tells him her parents will be there soon. Meanwhile a trio of bandits break into the school in the middle of a snow storm in order to hide out. So, yeah. This movie is basically just the diet Coke version of Home Alone. Similar flavor to the original, but doesn't taste nearly as good. The main actress who plays Izzy actually isn't half bad. It also helps that Izzy's really the most intelligent, likable character in the movie. You know, she says that her parents forget her at school all the time. Why? Because they're working. All they needed to do write something into the script so the school had latchkey system. There. How hard was that? I'll give some credit to Danny Glover too. He honestly comes off as though he's just a nice old man. There were elements to his character that probably would have been paid off if this movie was better written. Then again, I don't really think Christmas Break-In would have been nearly as good if it were, you know, good. Alright, let's talk about the villains' plan. They robbed Salvation Army. Their haul from the robbery was a couple Santa bags filled with coins. What kind of coins? I'm not entirely sure. And I don't think the movie's entirely sure either. Okay, the last element of this movie I want to mention is the movie's weird non-twist. There's a character the parents meet during their shenanigans. He's a delivery man the movie kind of says is Santa Claus, but never actually says he is. I was waiting for the movie to give that stupid twist, and it never came. At the end, I don't really think he served any purpose to the movie at all. I kind of have to recommend this because it is insane.

Thursday, May 7, 2020

Sonic the Hedgehog

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Let me start this by saying this: Thank God they fixed the design. My reason for saying this is because now that I've seen Sonic the Hedgehog, I can safely say that I genuinely enjoyed it. I will say that I don't necessarily think this is a great movie. That mostly comes down to plot. It's not terrible, but it's nothing spectacular either. You have seen this kind of plot before. There's also some moments that kind of date this movie because these jokes so rooted in the now. For example, Sonic does a Fortnite dance. Okay, the characters, performances, and action are really why I enjoy this movie. Ben Schwartz does a solid job voicing the titular Sonic. So, I touched on the redesign a little bit already. The redesign they did for this movie is so much better. He looks like Sonic. Jim Carrey is awesome in this movie as the villainous Doctor Robotnik. He plays this character who is super intelligent, and is incredibly arrogant because of it. Thus, he treats everyone around him as lesser. The action is a lot of fun. Okay, it's not like this is on the level of something like Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. But, it works well enough. I feel like I don't really have much more to say. This is just kind of a fun hour and 40 minutes to pass the time. This will entertain kids easily. I should also say that adults won't hate themselves, and will probably get something out of this movie too.

7 / 10

Tuesday, May 5, 2020

Ranking the Star Wars Movies

#12: Attack of the Clones: This one is probably the worst written in terms of a dialogue. This is easily the worst structured of the prequels. Count Dooku as the main threat doesn't really show up and impact the plot until about the last twenty minutes. Perhaps this movie's biggest fail is in its depiction of Anakin Skywalker. The last thing I would have expected was a whiny, bratty emo teen. That's not exactly the best to showcase a character the original trilogy built up as a legend.

#11: The Phantom Menace: Yes, Jar-Jar is annoying. But, I will be a little more forgiving of him because he was always intended to be a side character where Anakin Skywalker was meant to be the main focus of the prequel trilogy. This movie isn't dead last because Darth Maul is awesome, and the lightsaber battles are pretty cool. What sinks it so low for me is the political dialogue. It's just so boring that I can't really bring myself to care about trade federations and taxes in a Star Wars movie.

#10: Star Wars: The Clone Wars: This was probably the most difficult movie for me to rank. It was originally intended to be the first couple of episodes of the Clone Wars television series. Instead they were edited together into a feature film. If I judge it based on the original intent, I think it's decent enough. If I judge based on what it actually is, I would have to be little harsher. Balancing the two out, I think number 10 out of 12 is probably the best placement for me to give it.

#9: Revenge of the Sith: As much as I honestly do enjoy Revenge of the Sith, I still can't quite call it a good movie. The writing and dialogue is still pretty cheesy. Hayden Christiansen and Natalie Portman still have no chemistry together. That said, Hayden Christiansen's acting is better in this one. I'm not so much talking about when he speaks. I am more talking when he has to do a lot of facial acting.

#8: The Rise of Skywalker: Personally, I wrestled with the placements of numbers 8 and 9 in my ranking. I gave Rise of Skywalker the slight edge because I think it's a little bit better quality of a movie. For my money, What I liked in this movie, I really. What I didn't like in this movie I had a very meh reaction too. It isn't anything mind blowing, but it was a decent enough adventure.

#7: Solo: A Star Wars Story: I think number 7 is a perfect placement for this movie. I don't see this as anything grand or epic. At the same time, I don't think that was necessarily the point. This was just a fun heist adventure following a young Han Solo.

#6: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story: What I appreciate the most about Rogue One is the movie's willingness to take risks. On top that, this movie has the absolute best Darth Vader scene in all of Star Wars, and I really do mean that. The characters are serviceable enough, and they are kind of what hold this movie back from the top five for me.

#5: The Force Awakens: I love the new characters that were introduced here, and was interested to see where things were going to go from here. The reason I can't quite place it any higher this is because is does borrow a lot of the same story beats as A New Hope. 

#4: The Last Jedi: Welp, here goes my most controversial opinion. Yes, I loved The Last Jedi. I appreciated some of the chances it took. That said, the social commentary message and the casino sub plot are the one element you won't hear me argue with this movie's haters about. Where I honestly think this movie excels is in the stuff with Rey and Kylo Ren, and Luke.

#3: Return of the Jedi: I'm kind of lukewarm on the Ewoks. I don't love them. I don't hate them. I kind of understand what Lucas was trying to do, and I'm glad this movie was made during that point in time when people actually could rein him. It also helps that he didn't direct this movie either. It has a few more noticeable flaws for me, but I still think it serves a perfect cap-off for one of the all-time great movie trilogies.

#2: A New Hope: Even after forty years, the very first movie still ranks near the top of the list. I will say the lightsaber action isn't particularly refined in this one. There is also a sense of just getting to know the characters in this movie. It kind of feels standard from a character standpoint. Don't get me wrong, they are amazing. A lot of that comes down to the charisma of the actors.

#1: The Empire Strikes Back: Empire took what was good about A New Hope and amped it up. This movie changed the trajectory of the original trilogy. What started out in something as a standard black and white, good vs. evil story suddenly enters a bit of gray area.

Monday, May 4, 2020

Catwoman

Catwoman stars Halle Berry as a meek woman named Patience Phillips. Yes. Really. One night, she uncovers an evil plot involving dangerous makeup. Yes. Really. She is discovered and killed, but is resurrected by an ancient cat that blesses her with superpowers. Where to start? Okay, let's start with the whole makeup thing. As an evil plan, this has a really fucking easy solution. If you stop using the makeup, your face disintegrates and you become sick. If you keep using it, you basically become indestructible. So, the question is: if you already use it, why stop? If you aren't using it, then don't start. I mean, this is laughable. While we're on the subject of evil plans, Sharon Stone's motivation in this movie some laughable, shallow bullshit. She had everything, and then, she turned 40. You know, this is actually similar to the motivation of a murder mystery episode of Family Guy. It's easier to buy there, because at least, I'm not supposed to take Family Guy seriously. I could easily pick on the acting because it is terrible. But, I don't blame the actors for any of it when I consider how terrible the direction is, and I hear the dialogue they have to work with. Oh, this movie is horrendously edited too. The final fight of this movie is nearly incomprehensible, and is somehow the best action scene in the movie. Don't ask me how. I don't get it either. And of course, there's this:


This is easily one of the most hilariously bad scenes I have ever witnessed. Keep in mind, I am someone who watched The Room in its entirety. Overall, Catwoman has one redeeming quality. It is an entertaining mess of a disaster of a movie. 

0 / 10