Monday, May 4, 2020

Catwoman

Catwoman stars Halle Berry as a meek woman named Patience Phillips. Yes. Really. One night, she uncovers an evil plot involving dangerous makeup. Yes. Really. She is discovered and killed, but is resurrected by an ancient cat that blesses her with superpowers. Where to start? Okay, let's start with the whole makeup thing. As an evil plan, this has a really fucking easy solution. If you stop using the makeup, your face disintegrates and you become sick. If you keep using it, you basically become indestructible. So, the question is: if you already use it, why stop? If you aren't using it, then don't start. I mean, this is laughable. While we're on the subject of evil plans, Sharon Stone's motivation in this movie some laughable, shallow bullshit. She had everything, and then, she turned 40. You know, this is actually similar to the motivation of a murder mystery episode of Family Guy. It's easier to buy there, because at least, I'm not supposed to take Family Guy seriously. I could easily pick on the acting because it is terrible. But, I don't blame the actors for any of it when I consider how terrible the direction is, and I hear the dialogue they have to work with. Oh, this movie is horrendously edited too. The final fight of this movie is nearly incomprehensible, and is somehow the best action scene in the movie. Don't ask me how. I don't get it either. And of course, there's this:


This is easily one of the most hilariously bad scenes I have ever witnessed. Keep in mind, I am someone who watched The Room in its entirety. Overall, Catwoman has one redeeming quality. It is an entertaining mess of a disaster of a movie. 

0 / 10 

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