Artemis Fowl

 

"I'm Artemis Fowl, and I'm a criminal mastermind." I wanted to highlight this line from near the end of this movie. I want to highlight it because none of Artemis Fowl's actions really make this line feel earned. There were a lot of other things in this movie, very few of them being good. For example, the special effects are shoddy, at best. I have no idea what kind of performances Josh Gad and Judi Dench were giving. The action felt small scale. There were only a couple of locations in this movie, mainly Artemis's house. The villain has no dimension to her. She feels like a complete afterthought (probably because Artemis Fowl himself is the main antagonist of the book). The one character I actually did enjoy was the Holly Short character. She had a backstory that actually helped you to understand her drive, her motivations. The pacing is quite poor too. I feel like a lot of the film's plot beats are rushed, just so this movie can fit into an hour and a half time frame. Overall, there was very little about Artemis Fowl that worked for me, and I could honestly see why Disney dumped this onto their streaming service rather than delay its theatrical release. If you do happen to come across this movie on Disney+, just go ahead and skip it. 

2 / 10