Jaws: The Revenge

There are three words that sum up the quality of Jaws: The Revenge. What the fuck? The fourth and final movie in the Jaws franchise follows Brody's wife as she genuinely becomes the target of the film's shark. This movie has what may just be one of the absolute dumbest movie plots ever. Brody's wife becomes convinced that the shark is seeking revenge for the actions of the previous movies. Just wait, it gets dumber than that. She goes on vacation and has a middle aged romance with Michael Caine. She soon finds out that the shark has followed her from New York to the Bahamas. That still isn't the dumbest part of the movie. The absolute stupidest part of the movie is the fact that the filmmakers allude to the possibility that the wife has a psychic connection with the shark. How did we fall this hard from grace in comparison between the original Jaws and this movie. The worst thing about this movie is that the plot I described should be entertaining, and it's not. If anything, this movie is just dull. It's not a fun kind of bad. Instead, I'm left wondering why this movie has nothing really interesting about. The acting is kind of weird for me to talk about. It's not quite good enough for me to praise. But, it's not really bad enough for me to criticize either. The effects are not very good. They are better than the effects in Jaws 3, but that's not saying much. There really isn't much more I can really say about this movie. A couple more re-writes might have actually been able to make this an enjoyably bad movie. As it stands, the movie is just too boring for me to even praise the movie in a bad way. Watch the first three, but skip this one.

1 / 10 

Stranger Things - Season 3

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Even though I've watched it a couple of times now, I realize I still haven't actually reviewed the third season of Stranger Things. So, that's what I'm going to do. One of the first things about the third season I really appreciated was the fact that most of these kids are growing up. All of them are in relationships except for Will. But, I also like the way they dealt with Will in this season as well. I kind of think Will is the least interesting of the core kid group. But, with season 3, there's more of an effort to flesh him out. For most of the season, he's still kind of stuck in the past while his friends are growing up around him. I like it because it feels relatable. We've probably all known someone like that, or maybe we've been in Will's shoes. I also think Billy was a much more improved character this season. I thought he was kind of one-note in the majority of season two. If anything, this season cements him as one of the show's best villains. Some of the new additions are pretty fun. Cary Elwes is awesome as a sleazy politician. Murray returns for this season, and is quite a bit stronger in season 3. It doesn't hurt that he gets a bromance with a Russian defector named Alexei. Alexei's great too. Basically, he's just a big child. The motivations behind his attempts at bribery are Cherry Slurpees and being allowed to watch Looney Tunes. My favorite new addition has to be Robin. I speak so much to the characters on the show in my reviews because they are the highlights for me. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy the action. I like the effects. I like the nostalgic callbacks. But, the characters and their relationships are the heart of the show. The one thing about this season I'm not entirely sure needs to be there anymore is Mike's parents and little sister. Mike and Nancy continue to feel like they are growing and developing. I'll say Mike's mom had some development. However, I don't entirely know what the dad and baby sister really offer anymore. They aren't awful characters. I just kind of feel like they are just there. I love how this season just kind of keeps building with each episode as well. There's an episode in the third season, The Sauna Test, that is easily in my top five. The episode just feels so tense, and actually raises the stakes. Overall, I think this season about on par with season one.

A

Sleepwalkers

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Sleepwalkers is an interesting movie. It is most definitely terrible by most conventions. Yet, it is entertainingly insane. The movie is directed by Mick Garris (who has also directed the miniseries adaptations for The Shining and The Stand). and written by Stephen King. The plot is about two incestuous vampire-like creatures that are trying to suck the life force out of a teenage girl, and they have a severe fear and hatred of cats. Even writing the plot of this movie sounds insane to me. But, I have seen Sleepwalkers and it is perhaps one of the most fun experiences I can think of. The cast is interesting to me. The main antagonist of the movie is played by Alice Krige (the borg queen herself). You also have a small supporting role by Ron Perlman. That's not even mentioning the plethora of random cameos littered throughout the movie. I also kind of think a lot of the actors kind of know the type of movie they are in. Alice Krige and Ron Perlman are perhaps the best examples of this. There are so many times where I feel like these two are just hamming it up on screen. Of course, I should also mention Glen Shaddix as this creepy high school teacher. If you don't know, this is the same guy who played Otho in Beetlejuice, Bob in Demolition Man, and the reverend in Heathers. This movie also has one of my favorite death scenes in a horror movie ever because I find it so gloriously stupid. In fact, gloriously stupid feels like just the right description for this movie as a whole. 

7 / 10

Heathers

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Well, this is a movie that I can say surprised me in the best way possible. The film follows Veronica Sawyer (played by Winona Ryder) as she meets falls for the mysterious new kid, J.D. (played by Christian Slater). Along the way, the fall into a series of murders and accidents. Veronica is left trying to figure out what J.D.'s angle is. Going in, I knew this movie was called Heathers and I knew some of the cast members. What I didn't not know anything about was the story. The movie has a dark sense of humor that I legitimately appreciate. The actors all do a pretty solid job. In particular, I really like Christian Slater in this movie. It's a little difficult for me to explain any further. A lot of the jokes really worked for me, and those are not the kind of things you would want to spoil in a review. The film is legitimately cleverly written. At the same time, it's kind of obvious that this movie is a product of its time. There are moments that probably wouldn't fly today. In this movie's case, I honestly mean that as a compliment. Overall, I don't think there's much more I have to say about this movie. I had a legitimate blast with Heathers. 

10 / 10