The Last Heist

 

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A group of bank robbers target a bank that is about to close down. They run into a problem when they realize that one of the people whom they’ve taken hostage is, in fact, a serial killer. From the very first moments, The Last Heist is plagued by terrible acting (the actor who plays the serial killer seems to be under the impression that all he has to do is look crazy), uninspired direction (lazy slow-mo that I’ve seen a hundred times before is interjected into the movie within the first five minutes), and horrendous writing that offers absolutely no likable characters (even the semi-likable characters don’t muster the ability from me to even remotely give a shit). None of the actors in the movie are able to work off each other believably. Now, these bank robbers are the biggest fucking idiots in the world. They take their masks off. They use their actual names. The most disappointing thing about this movie is that, once gain, I see a lot of wasted potential. As the movie goes on, the plot-holes and leaps in logic just get bigger and bigger. The action sequences are so shoddily filmed that I can’t tell what’s going on half the time (to a point I actually wanted shaky cam) I like the idea of a battle between a serial killer and a group of robbers, especially with the contained setting of a bank. The problem is, The Last Heist is inept in every single way, and can’t even do anything with an interesting premise and setting. Ultimately, this movie is cheap, ugly, and stupid (not even a fun kind of stupid) My advice would be to avoid this one should you come across it on Netflix.  

0 / 10 

The Hills Have Eyes (1977)

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A family headed for California breaks down in the middle of the desert, near an old nuclear test site. From there, they are attacked by a family (or “pack” as they are referred to in the movie) of mutant cannibals. Afterwards, the movie turns into a sort of “family vs. family” story, mixed with the level of intensity and gore that Wes Craven was usually known to bring, and this is one of the early movies from the late horror master. One of the things I love is that pretty much from the beginning, you get a feeling for the movie’s setting. The desert feels big and empty. The family feels genuine, and, for the most part, they are pretty likable. Craven understands how to let the atmosphere sink in. The movie starts out with showing the aftermath of some of the gorier moments, but showing very little of the titular antagonists. This works because that makes it meaningful when the villains are finally shown in full force. That’s how I know things have just spiraled out of control. The teenage daughter of the mutant family, named Ruby, is the most well-realized character in the movie. There’s this understanding that they set up for the audience. She can be sympathized with. She wants to see the real world, and has grown sick of her family’s actions. Actress Janus Blythe, who plays Ruby, does a damn good job showing that. The cannibals give off the feeling that they are not screwing around. They are committing these heinous acts simply because that’s how they have survived in the desert. There’s a sense of dread present, as you aren’t really sure if the main family that you grow attached to is going to survive the ordeal. The Hills Have Eyes is an exercise in tense brutality in the wake of a potential nuclear fallout, and uses all of its elements to near-perfection. 

10 / 10 

The Invitation

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 The Invitation is about a man, who along with his girlfriend attends a party hosted by his estranged ex-wife. The two lost their son, and she had grown depressed, going so far as to attempt suicide. As the night goes on, the man grows more and more suspicious that there may have been an ulterior motive behind this dinner party. I’m not sure why, but from the second the movie began, I never really bought the acting. I feel like this is one of those movies that I just didn’t like, and I can’t entirely put my finger on why I didn’t. The setting is intimate, perfect for a horror-thriller like this one. The house was a normal house, which I liked, making it feel a bit more real. Outside of the main character and his ex-wife, I feel that the character development was either thin or non-existent (with the exception of the character of Pruitt, played by John Carroll Lynch, who I felt had some development and was the best-acted out of all the characters). Lynch manages to make the fact that his character’s a bit off work. But you also kind of understand his reasoning for his involvement in everything. If anything, I would say that this movie ultimately reminds me a lot of Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer. It’s a movie that didn’t really have much of anything visibly wrong with it, and for all intents and purposes, I should have been able to like. Also, like Henry, I think the script just wasn’t very engaging, for the first two acts anyways. The third act has the shit hit the fan and transition from something sort of dull into a tense, violent slasher flick. Sadly, a solid third act and some decent character development amid a whole lotta meh just isn’t enough to save The Invitation.

5 / 10  

Captain Fantastic

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 A man (Viggo Mortensen) and his wife have spent the last several years raising their six children in the wilderness, away from civilization. His wife dies suddenly after months in the hospital. Her father (Frank Langella) forbids him from attending the funeral. He ultimately laments in order to appease his kids’ wishes. On their journey, the family learns of life in a world they know little to nothing about. Personally, I would like to start with the negatives, because they were very few for me. The slow pace of the movie isn’t bad, but it did drag for me at times. Now, on to the positives. The kids in this movie are great. This may be some of the best child acting I’ve ever seen. Frank Langella, Kathryn Hahn, and Steve Zahn are also great in their brief appearances. But, the standout is Viggo Mortensen himself. Here, he gives an Oscar-worthy performance as a father who genuinely cares for his children. I believed the family bond this man had with his children.  You understand that even when he makes the wrong decisions, he always believes that what he is doing is best for his kids. The cinematography is gorgeous. The shots in the wilderness and the long shots when they are traveling on the road are great. None of the characters feel like stereotypes. They feel real. Most of the cliches you would expect this movie to take are either sidestepped or just never pushed into the movie’s forefront.  This is one of those movies I really have to recommend, simply because of how good it is.    

9 / 10 

Moonwalkers

 

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Moonwalkers is a movie that takes place in a world where the conspiracy theory of Stanley Kubrick faking the moon landing is actually what happened, or at least, in a way. Now, I will say this is a bit of a bizarre movie, and definitely isn’t for everybody. If any of what I described sounds interesting, it’s currently available on Netflix. Check it out and see what you think. I personally enjoyed this movie a good deal. Although, it takes place in the late 1960s, which honestly makes the head trip feeling work in the movie’s favor. I have to compliment lead actors Ron Perlman and Rupert Grint. Perlman is solid (and perfectly cast) as the gruff, no-nonsense CIA agent who has been tasked finding Kubrick, and trying to bring him in. Grint, in particular really shines as the movie’s standout in his role as a loser band manager who gets roped into the insanity, most of which is his own fault. I will say the mishap that gets him involved in the mess is cliched, something I have seen a thousand times before. I’ve also seen the story of a guy getting in over his head a thousand times. No, parts of the story don’t work as well as they should. Fortunately, the performers are able to rise above the familiarity of the story. I will say I did think the movie was funny, albeit never really gut-busting funny, for the most part. The climax to the film is easily one of the funniest I have ever seen. This has some of the most effective use of slow-mo I’ve seen since Dredd. For example, there’s a fight scene that uses said slow-mo for comedic effect, and it really works. Other times, it’s used for some of the movie’s more surreal moments. The final result is a fun, if somewhat flawed 60s-era head trip that worth watching at least once.

7 / 10       

Standoff

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Standoff is about a young girl (a wooden Ella Ballentine) who witnesses the slaughter of a hitman (Laurence Fishburne, delivering a menacing and frightening performance). The girl flees to a nearby farmhouse. She finds protection from the home’s owner, a war veteran (Thomas Jane in a layered performance). This movie has a lot going for it. The setting is small and confined largely to the house, which looks pretty good. Laurence Fishburne and Thomas Jane give good performances, and, due to their performances and talents, I found some entertainment in their battle of wills. The music is alright. There’s sort of an 80s feel to it. The writing and story aren’t especially strong, and the pacing just doesn’t feel right to me. A bulk of this movie grinds to a slow, plodding pace. I think the idea was to build some tension, but it just comes off as kind of boring most of the time. The majority of the dialogue comes between Jane and the young girl, who seems to just struggle with her lines The story is fairly predictable, and cliched. You can figure every character’s beat pretty much from the get-go. This movie’s meant to be a slow burn-style thriller. Unfortunately, the monotonous pacing really don’t make the build meaningful, and some of the more violent moments that come later just didn’t feel natural to me. The final result sadly isn’t worth the watch. It’s slow, boring, and just kind of comes off as nothing more than wasted potential. 

5 / 10 

Darling

 

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If I had to describe Darling in one word, I would say haunting. From the very beginning it is clear this movie is influenced by old school genre classics such as The Shining and The Haunting. The movie centers on a young woman who agrees to watch over an old mansion with a dark past, by herself. One of the first things I have to appreciate with this movie is that it is shot almost entirely in black and white, giving it a sort of vintage look and feel. The cinematography is gorgeous, and the music is atmospheric. Right from the beginning, you know that something is off. Lead actress Lauren Ashley Carter is the movie’s ultimate anchor. Her gradual slip into madness is believable and tense, so much so, that at first it’s hard to tell if the house is toying with her, or if she has always been crazy, or even if it’s a little bit of both. She manages to give a performance that is equal parts insane, vulnerable, nuanced, and mysterious. Sometimes she’s even able to do this all at once. Interestingly, none of the characters in the movie have actual names.They are credited simply as Darling, Madame, or even, the man. As much as I really did enjoy Darling, I will admit that it isn’t the most original movie in the world, borrowing heavily from many films that came before it. However, there are so many good elements to this movie that I can easily look past that. Something that I liked was that even though they explained that the house has ghost stories surrounding it, and is supposedly haunted, whether or not it actually is haunted is never explained. Darling is ultimately an excellent psychological horror film that gets all of its elements almost to a tee.  

9 / 10