Deep Blue Sea 2

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Deep Blue Sea 2 is one of those movies I kind of had to watch out of morbid curiosity. I first heard that this movie was going to be a thing back in January, and that it was going to get dumped out direct-to-video at some point this year. My first thought was: "well, this is going to be a lazy piece of shit whose sole existence was to cash in on the Deep Blue Sea name." To me, that was the weirdest thing about this movie's existence. Had it been dumped out sometime in the early 2000s, it would have made sense. The first warning I'm going to give you is this: don't even remotely go into this movie expecting something good. Hell, I pretty much only enjoy the first film on a guilty pleasure level. Shark conservationist Misty Calhoun (played by Danielle Savre) is a shark expert brought on to consult a problem. You can guess the plot from here. Idiot humans are hunted and picked off by sharks that are made smarter through testing one by one. So, yeah. this movie is awful. The fact that this movie was a direct to video release really hindered it. The sets are cheap, and they do next to nothing to actually stand out. The characters pretty much all suck. These people don't actually feel like characters, so much as it feels like the filmmakers want us to feel invested in the all-you-can buffet. I wouldn't go so far as to call them unlikable. They just aren't interesting. The only character that kind of stands out to me is the character known as Carl Durant (played by Michael Beach). The reason is because I know he's supposed to be an irredeemable villain and psychopath. I will give the movie props for allowing the characters to have at least enough brains in them to sort of recognize that the obvious bad guy is obvious, even if it isn't 100%. The acting in this film is bad. I'll admit that it isn't the worst acting I've ever seen though. Unfortunately, this leads into the next problem I have with this movie. Because I don't really care about the characters, the movie just sort of drags for me. Part of the problem for me is that this movie kind of just repeats all of the same beats of the first movie, and just seems like it's trying to pass all of it off as something different. Was Deep Blue Sea 2 what I expected it to be? Yes and no. On the one hand, I expected this movie to be a lazy cash-in. On the other hand, I thought this movie was just going to make me angrier than I was. It was mostly dull. Every great once in a while, there would a moment of unintentional laughter, but nowhere near enough to make me want to seek this thing out ever again.

1 / 10  

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

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Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is one of those notable turning points for the Harry Potter franchise. After Voldemort’s return and Cedric Diggory’s death at the end of Goblet of Fire, the Ministry of Magic refuses to believe Harry. The Ministry has sent a new defense against the dark arts professor in the form of Dolores Umbridge (played by Imelda Staunton). When Umbridge flat out refuses to teach them, Harry, Ron, and Hermione set out to teach a select group of students in secret. This will ultimately lead to a final battle that truly begins the war. I will admit that this movie is my least favorite from an adaptation stand point (as those are truly the elements that annoy me). That said, I will still admit to it being a solid film on its own. I think this movie truly understands and sells the government paranoia that is apparent throughout the movie. This is probably the movie in the series that truly sold me on Michael Gambon as Dumbledore (who has played the part since Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban). One of the best lines of the movie in my opinion is: “You’ve got to admit, Dumbledore’s got style.” After seeing him in this movie, I fully buy that this is the only wizard Voldemort has ever truly feared. Imelda Staunton and fellow franchise newcomer Helena Bonham Carter as Bellatrix Lestrange are perfect casting choices. As much I believe that adaptations can stand on their own, the one major issue I honestly have with this movie is one from an adaptation stand point. There is a moment in the book where Harry is asked by Hermione to meet her at the Three Broomsticks. When he gets there (it also costs him his relationship with Cho Chang), she is sitting with Luna Lovegood and Rita Skeeter. The ultimate goal is to use the Quibbler (a sort of Wizarding World tabloid similar to something like the National Inquirer) to get the truth about Voldemort’s return out in the open. To me, this is one of the most important elements of the story. The final battle is fine overall, and actually has one moment that I feel the movie actually handles better than the book, as I think the actual impact is a little heavier. I also like that this movie explores Neville’s backstory a little more (as he becomes more important as the story goes on), and reveals he has a link to Bellatrix Lestrange. Overall, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix still mostly works on its own merits as a movie. It has a couple minor stumbles as an adaptation (as I feel it cuts out a couple crucial points from the book), but it doesn’t really diminish the final result, as I can’t call this a bad movie. 

7 / 10 

Eighth Grade

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Eighth Grade is a simple movie. It tells the story of a young girl’s (kind of awkward) journey through adolescence. More specifically, the story weaves her through her last two weeks of eighth grade before she goes to high school. Writer-director Bo Burnham clearly understands the story he is trying to tell. The performances in this movie legitimately feel real. It helps there’s nobody in the film with a huge amount of star-power, especially because that can be distracting when it isn’t done well. That is why I don’t feel like I’m watching actors, so much I feel like I’m watching people. The awkward, cringe-y feeling you kind of get as you watch the film is also a legitimate plus as well. For most people (if not everyone), eighth grade was a cringe-y, awkward time in our lives. The closest comparison I feel that I can make with this movie is last year’s Lady Bird. Both are simple stories with simple goals. I also feel that I had similar reactions to both films. They were excellent movies that I don’t feel any real need or desire to see again in my life. Granted, I can’t say I would be opposed to just leaving it on if I came across on TV, or if I walked in a room and it was just playing. Praise should go to lead actress Elsie Fisher as Kayla. I believe this is her first feature film role. If so, I think there’s a chance she could genuinely have a bright career in her future. All in all, I enjoyed Eighth Grade well enough to recommend seeing it, and don’t really have a whole lot to say about the film on the whole. I watched it. I enjoyed it. I don’t have any major problems with it, but I’m also not planning on revisiting it any time soon.

8 / 10

Rampage

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Primatologist Davis Okoye (played by Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson) finds himself embroiled in a big business’s (headed by Malin Ackerman’s Claire Wyden) conspiracy when an experiment of theirs goes wrong, leading to the creation of three giant monsters. One of the monsters created is a gorilla named George – who just so happens to be Davis’s best friend. Davis finds himself teamed up with disgraced scientist Kate Caldwell (played by Naomie Harris) and government agent Russell (played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan). To the answer the big question from video game purists, I’ve never played the game. So, I can’t really say for sure whether or not this movie is accurate to its video game counterpart. However, looking at this movie as a giant monster movie, I can say I enjoyed it. To be completely honest, it’s a stupid flick, but that never really bothered me. The performances by Johnson, Harris, Morgan, and (the criminally underused) Joe Mangienello all work well in the movie for me. I also liked Johnson’s chemistry with George the gorilla, especially because something like that is not easy to pull off. I also like that they don’t immediately throw in the exposition dump on how Davis and George met one another. The first moment of the two together is just kind of how they interact with one another. The CGI on the creatures actually looks good. The monsters are giant, mutated versions of their animal selves. You can kind of tell they are mutated and changed from what they started out as. The action sequences are pretty fun as well. When the titular “rampage” is happening, it’s a ton of fun. As much as I honestly had fun with this movie, I legitimately had some problems with the movie that need to be addressed. I touched on Joe Mangienello being wasted, and I really do think he is. If you’re a fan of the actor, just know that he’s not in this movie about as much as The Rock was in Furious 7, maybe less. Malin Ackerman does not work as the villainous Claire Wyden. Ackerman’s never been a particularly strong actress, so this attempt on her part to stretch out of her very limited range just does not work. Tonally, the film is a bit messy. Sometimes, there will be a little of a dark sense of humor. The few moments that show this don’t feel like they are weaved throughout, so much it feels like they come out of left field. Sometimes, the movie seems like it takes itself a little bit too seriously. Sometimes, the movie feels gleefully self-aware. When the tones clash like this, it doesn’t have a particularly strong effect on the overall product. To me, Rampage works as dumb popcorn fun. It’s got some pretty noticeable flaws, for sure. But, when it works, it works. I didn’t go into this movie expecting high art, and I was genuinely pleased with the end result that I got. If you get a chance, watch this movie with friends and just kind of riff on it.

7 / 10