Thursday, February 23, 2017

Fifty Shades Darker

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“I don’t like strangers gawking at you.” This is a line uttered by Christian Grey (played again by Jamie Dornan) after buying a gallery filled with pictures of his ex-girlfriend, Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson, also reprising her role). This happens before the fucking ten-minute mark. You know what, I didn’t think it was possible, but Fifty Shades Darker is actually WORSE than the first. At least the first movie tries to have some semblance of a plot. This doesn’t even have that. Apparently, the author of the books hated the first movie (which might actually give me a measly speck of respect for the first movie). She actually co-wrote the screenplay for this one. Not one character is remotely fucking likable. They’re all awful people who seem like they’re in a competition for worst character in the movie. Anastasia Steele is even more weak-willed and stupid this time around. This idiot questions how Christian was able to get her bank account numbers (and they actually play this up as charming). There are some SERIOUS red flags that should be raised in this moment. There is a point where our two leads are arguing. Christian (ever the stoic hero he’s held up as) yells at her saying: “For once, do what you’re told!” or something to that effect. The problem with this is that she has been doing what she’s told for the whole damn movie. They actually make you root for Christian Grey (something that shouldn’t fucking happen at all). The reason for this is because Anastasia’s boss objectifies women even more than Grey himself. I HATED everything about this piece of shit. Not one person gave a good performance (Admittedly, Dakota Johnson tries to give a good performance once again). Everybody comes off as awkward when they are trying to talk with one another. I am scared of the possibility that a movie could along this year that’s worse than this.


0 / 10      

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