Storks

Image Source

 Storks takes place in a world where storks have stopped delivering babies and are now an Amazon-style company that delivers packages. Junior (voiced by Andy Samberg) is up for a promotion to be the new boss. All he has to do is fire an overeager teenaged human girl that was left behind when she was a baby, but is unable to do so. A young boy sends a letter to the stork delivery service because he wants a baby brother. Ultimately Junior and Tulip, the human girl have to deliver the baby. Shenanigans then ensue. This movie was easily the biggest surprise of the year for me. The trailers looked kind of cute, but nothing I was clamoring to see. Storks surprisingly has equal moments of laughs and heart. The plot isn’t the most original, as it’s really just a road trip buddy movie, but when buddy movies are done well, they really work. This is one of those movies where the buddy formula works. The voice acting is fantastic, and the characters are all memorable. The chemistry between Andy Samberg and Katie Crown, the actress who voices Tulip really drives the movie. The cast in the movie includes the likes of Andy Samberg, Kelsey Grammar, Keegan Michael-Key, Jordan Peele, and Danny Trejo. The fast-paced, energetic animation, good characters, and strong comedy work in Storks’s favor and help the movie overcome its occasional shortcomings. I recommend Storks. It’s a movie kids can enjoy, and parents probably aren’t going to go insane in the theater. 

8 / 10        

Scream Queens: Season 1

Image Source

 The second season of Scream Queens just started. So, I thought I would go back and review the first season. In a lot of ways, the show did hit the ground running. The actors are all having fun in their roles. Emma Roberts nails the mean girl stereotype to a tee. Jamie Lee Curtis also deserves as much praise as possible. She plays the university's no-nonsense dean of students, and is equal parts funny, creepy, and suspicious. The creators of the show have said that they grew up with slashers of the 1980s, and I feel it shows. Someone dies in every episode (a point I wish the first season of Scream would have followed), which racks up the average body count a normal slasher flick might have. The use of the Red Devil (the school mascot) as the killer's costume plays to the tropes of 80s slashers as well, much to the show's benefit. Many of the deaths were also fairly creative and violent. Someone gets their face burned with frying oil. Another person gets dismembered with a chainsaw. However, the show's freshman season wasn't perfect. The main flaw of the first season has got to be the tone. A lot of the time, the humor of the series isn't dark enough. Moreover, the tone is just inconsistent. It feels like they just didn't quite know a lot of the time how to make the horror and comedy gel (something the season 2 premiere seemed to fix). While there were characters I enjoyed, some of the others just didn't do anything for me. I felt like they were there for cannon fodder, even if the actors did good in the roles.

B+ 

Blair Witch

Image Source

 So, I was skeptical about Blair Witch. I wasn’t exactly a fan of The Blair Witch Project, but this one gave me a glimmer of hope because it was directed by Adam Wingard, who previously directed The Guest and You’re Next. Overall, I feel that this is an improvement over the first movie, even if it does suffer from some of the original’s same problems. First things first, I want to compliment Adam Wingard’s direction on the movie. He does some pretty cool things with the found footage genre here, adding a sort of Chronicle-style flair to it. This is a guy who is showing that he gets the horror genre. The characters aren’t great, but I do like them better in this movie. I genuinely believed these people actually were friends this time around. However, much like the first film, where this movie stumbles is the story. They do attempt to add to the Blair Witch’s backstory, but it doesn’t really make her feel like a lingering presence at first. Halfway through the movie however, it does get a bit more chilling The movie does follow some of the traditional horror movie cliches as well. For example, the minute I saw that there was a black guy in the cast, I knew what was going to happen to him. As Blair Witch goes on, I actually felt that it was building to something that was going to be worth it. The weird thing about this movie is that, story wise, it does share a lot of the same beats as the first Blair Witch Project. Do I think this is the best movie in the Blair Witch franchise? Yes, but it is still a very deeply flawed movie altogether, and the weakest thus far from Adam Wingard. Do I recommend seeing this movie? Yes, I honestly do, but only as a strong rental. 

7 / 10            

Commando (1985)

Image Source

Looking at this movie from 2016 eyes, Commando might seem a little bit silly. However, this is one of my favorite movies of all time. As John Matrix, Arnold Schwarzenegger is an unstoppable killing machine with only one goal, get his daughter back. Does this movie follow the traditional formula for an 80s action movie? Sure, but that doesn’t make it any less entertaining. This movie has one of my absolute favorite action movie villains in John Bennett, played to insane perfection by Vernon Wells. Schwarzenegger has a pretty solid chemistry with both his female co-star Rae Dawn Chong, and with Alyssa Milano, creating what I felt was a believable enough father-daughter relationship. Say what you want about Schwarzenegger’s acting ability, the man is undeniably charismatic, and he’s the king of action movies for a reason. The action scenes should also be complimented. In particular, I have to praise the movie’s climax for just throwing us balls-to-the-wall action and carnage, finishing off with one the greatest knife fights I have ever seen. Yes, this movie has some of the best cheesy 80s one liners I have ever seen. Schwarzenegger brings what may just be his biggest body count here, compared to every other movie he has ever done. I have nothing but respect and admiration for Commando, in what I believe to be one of the Schwarzenegger essentials. I recommend this movie to anyone with a fondness for the ultra-violent, hard-R, action movies that inhabited and dominated the 1980s.   

10 / 10 

Green Room

Image Source

A hardcore punk band books a show at a Neo Nazi bar in Portland, Oregand. The band witnesses a murder, prompting the leader of the Neo Nazis (excellently played by an unusually villainous Patrick Stewart) to kill the band as a way to eliminate witnesses. The bar in the movie looks like an honest-to-god shit hole. I like this because it shows how good the production design is. Green Room is a violent movie, so watch at your own risk. The violence in Green Room isn’t flashy like Tarantino. It’s gritty, brutal, and visceral. The use of a punk band works because I feel like the whole movie is shot edited with a sort of grimy, punk rock look and feel. Anton Yelchin and Imogen Poots previously starred in the Fright Night remake together. Their chemistry clearly carries over. In a weird way, it feels like two movies stitched together, but they flow seamlessly. The first half is almost a slow-burn thriller. The second half transitions the movie into a violent slasher film where the main characters have to survive. The reason this works is because you feel like the second half of the movie is what the first half is building up to. As far as flaws go, I would say the characters could have been developed better. Green Room is otherwise further proof that the horror movies this year have really come to play. If you are into horror movies, I would recommend giving this movie a watch.  

9 / 10      

Top 50 Favorite Songs (50 - 41)

Honorable Mentions:

This was a very hard list for me to whittle down, so here's a couple songs I felt bad about leaving off the list.

Sabotage by The Beastie Boys
Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen
Don't Stop Believing by Journey
I Don't Want to Miss a Thing by Aerosmith
Immigrant Song by Led Zeppelin
School's Out by Alice Cooper
Ain't No Rest For the Wicked by Cage the Elephant
It's My Life by Bon Jovi 

#50: White Wedding by Billy Idol: With what may be one of the catchiest choruses ever, and a somewhat upbeat sound, you may never realize that this song actually is fairly sad. Either way, it's a great song from a great artist that I recommend listening to.

#49: Walkin' on the Sun by Smash Mouth: Smash Mouth's song seems to glorify the idea of getting off drugs. There's a real positivity to the song, and its instruments feel very laid back and smooth, something that works to the song's favor

#48: Hound Dog by Elvis Presley: I'll admit that I'm not necessarily the biggest Elvis Presley fan. That said, there's something about the energy that Elvis brings to this song, It's low on the list because there just isn't a lot I have to say about it.

#47: Renegade by Jay-Z & Eminem: Renegade is one of those songs where Jay and Em talk about where they are in pop culture at the time the song came out. Each one works off the other well in the song, sort of saying they are who they are and that they do what they do.

#46: Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) by Marilyn Manson: Before you ask, yes, I do like the original version of the song as well. However, there's a sort of haunting, creepy atmosphere that lurks throughout Marilyn Manson's cover that works for me more than the original.

#45: What's My Age Again by Blink-182: Somehow, this song perfectly captures what it's like to be in that position where you don't really feel quite like an adult yet, but you're definitely not a teenager anymore. There's a mix of realism and humor that just makes the song work.

#44: Down with the Sickness by Disturbed: Alright, this is one of those songs that's really going to divide people. It's certainly not for everyone, and I respect that. However, the chaotic energy, lead singer Dave Draiman's inhuman screech, and some pounding instrumentation make for one of my favorite hard rock songs.

#43: Cleanin' Out My Closet by Eminem: To me, Cleanin' Out My Closet feels like Em is just getting some family issues off his chest that he's been dealing with for a while. It's angry, and the production feels like it's barely on point, which I mean as a compliment to the song on the whole.

#42: Come Together by The Beatles: What can I say about this song that hasn't already been said? The lyrics, singing, delivery, and instruments all work perfectly together, sort of like a well-oiled machine. It's one of the most famous songs by the Beatles, and for good reason.

#41: Undead by Hollywood Undead: Much like Down with the Sickness, this song is not for everyone. The verses are angry. The instruments are loud and energetic. Overall, this is a song that I listen to when I just want to get myself pumped up.     

Sully

Image Source

 Sully is directed by Clint Eastwood and stars Tom Hanks, Aaron Eckhart, and Laura Linney. It tells the story of the Miracle on the Hudson, from when captain Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger lost both of his plane’s engine’s and was forced to make an emergency landing. Tom Hanks and Aaron Eckhart play co-pilots and best friends in the movie, each of whom delivers (as usual) an oscar-worthy performance. The chemistry between these two was spot on. Laura Linney portrays Sully’s wife in the movie. While she is really good, I personally wish I could have seen at least one scene where Hanks and Linney are on screen together, and working off each other. The fact that all of their scenes are shared via phone call was a little bit of a detriment to their chemistry, at least in my opinion. The movie can drag a touch at certain points, though never enough to a point where it took me out of the movie. Eastwood’s direction has a bit of an old-school feel to it, which really works in the movie’s favor. Character development feels almost solely placed on Sully himself. There were attempts to flesh out some of the passengers on the plane, but it didn’t quite feel like enough to me. Strong acting and solid direction, and a pretty damn good plane crash (that really shouldn’t have been shown twice) are enough to overcome some of the weaker elements in the writing. In the end, despite its minor shortcomings, I recommend watching Sully. It’s a pretty good movie with an intriguing plot. 

7 / 10   

Seven (1995)

Image Source

A serial killer in an unnamed city begins a spree inspired by the seven deadly sins. Two detectives, expertly played by Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman, are assigned to the case and do everything in their power to find the villainous John Doe and bring him to justice. Seven presents a cold, harsh, visceral, bleak outlook on the world, something David Fincher typically excels at. Doe is one of my all-time favorite movie villains. This is thanks in no small part to Kevin Spacey’s performance. He’s barely in the movie, but his presence is felt throughout, and it feels earned and meaningful when he does show up. The violence in the movie is muted, which adds a layer of unease. More than anything, it serves as a backdrop. We are really left to imagine how brutal everything was. Nowhere is this more evident than in the famous “what’s in the box” scene near the end of the movie. On repeat viewings, that moment grows more and more stomach-churning, despite never showing what exactly is in the box. Freeman and Pitt have excellent chemistry with one another. I want to be honest about the ending, though. I loved it. Without giving much away, it’s very bittersweet. It feels like it belongs within the world that this movie sets up. This is one of those movies where everything from the acting to the writing to the directing to the editing comes together to make a fantastic and tense movie. Overall, Seven is one of the best neo-noir thrillers of all time, and a personal favorite of mine.

10 / 10  

Die Hard (1988)

Image Source

In case you didn’t know, the original Die Hard is my favorite movie of all time. John McTiernan is, in my opinion, one of the best action directors of all time. See Predator and Last Action Hero as examples of this. This is the movie that managed to make Bruce Willis an action movie superstar, as well as introducing the world to the great Alan Rickman playing the great villain that is Hans Gruber. Prior to this, Willis was known mainly for television and comedy. Alan Rickman was a stage actor. These are gambles that are far less likely to be taken today. Die Hard has a great claustrophobic feel, as the movie takes place almost entirely in a building, where everyman John McClane suddenly becomes the only man qualified to eliminate the terrorists that have taken the building hostage. This is one of the movies to help redefine the action genre in the late 80s and early 90s. Die Hard suddenly became the formula, and the everyman was the hero that got the most attention as opposed to the muscle-bound one-man-armies of the 80s. When McClane is fighting the terrorists, you believe that he is fighting for his life, as well as fighting to kill. Nowhere do I think that this is more apparent than in his fist fight with Karl. The supporting cast should be commended as well, whether it’s Reginald VelJohnson as Al Powell, Paul Gleason as Dwayne Robinson, or William Atherton as Richard Thornburg. These characters aren’t stereotypes. They are fleshed out, often relatable. McClane is one of my favorite characters because I understand his dilemma. He’s not there to stop terrorists. He’s there to hopefully reconnect with his estranged wife. The action sequences are crisp, brutal, and comprehensible. Die Hard didn’t rely on shaky cam. It wanted you to experience the action. I love everything about this movie. I don’t feel that there is a moment wasted.

10 / 10 

London Has Fallen

 

Image Source

London Has Fallen is the sequel to 2012’s Olympus Has Fallen, which I was a fan of. It wasn’t great, but it was a ton of fun. Naturally, I was really looking forward to this movie. Did I hate this movie? No, but I didn’t particularly like it either, at least at first. It does get a little more enjoyable as the movie goes on. That doesn’t mean I didn’t have my fair share of problems with the movie. More than anything, London Has Fallen is a mixed bag. The acting is pretty solid. This is something you’re likely to get when the cast includes Gerard Butler, Aaron Eckhart, Morgan Freeman, Jackie Earle Haley, and Angela Bassett. Butler and Eckhart have a fantastic chemistry with one another, and they are believable as best friends and in the protector/protected relationship. The standout has to be Gerard Butler himself. He carries the movie with the same level of charismatic badassery as Schwarzenegger or Stallone, and he seems to be having a blast once again. The pacing is awful. It takes a while for the plot to really get going before you reach the action that we went into this movie to see. Unfortunately, this movie is directed by Babak Najafi. The first film was directed by Antoine Fuqua, a man who has proven his capability with the action genre before. Here, Najafi proves that he doesn’t have the crisp style that Antoine Fuqua has. The action scenes within London Has Fallen rely more on shaky cam than its predecessor, and that makes them difficult to enjoy (or even invest in).  On the plus side, this is only prevalent early on in the movie. The action becomes far more crisp later on.The GCI is absoutey terrible. i kind of wish that effects were more practical. Overall, London Has Fallen sadly falls into that typical sequel trap. It tries to do bigger and better, but only ends up being an inferior copy of its predecessor. There’s some enjoyable-enough moments for sure. There’s just a lot of other stuff you have to wade through.

5 / 10     

Snowden

 

Image Source

Snowden is a biographical political thriller directed by Oliver Stone and stars Joseph Gordon-Levitt. It tells the story of whistleblower Edward Snowden. Snowden has the difficult job of trying to cover about ten years’ worth of Edward Snowden’s life within roughly 2 and a half hours. For the most part, I feel that Stone succeeds with this intention. The ending does drag on a little bit long. I feel like ten minutes could’ve been cut from the end of the movie, and that would have been a huge improvement. Snowden works for me as a biopic because it gives me an understanding as to why he did what he did. The film has a bevy of incredible actors in supporting roles, and they all bring their A-game. This includes Tom Wilkinson, Zachary Quinto, Nicolas Cage, and Timothy Olyphant. The standout to me is Shailene Woodley as Snowden’s girlfriend, Lindsay Mills. Woodley and Gordon-Levitt have a very believable back-and-forth, as well as a believable relationship. Oliver Stone does some things with the camera work that I thought were pretty damn slick. There are moments where he’ll show Snowden and his girlfriend talking, but the camera will be positioned just outside of the window, almost giving a feeling like maybe they are being watched. This movie has its flaws, for sure. Overall, it was a decent biopic that did a lot of things right, despite the stumbles it takes here and there.

7 / 10      

Ice Age: Collision Course

Image Source

 Ice Age 5 had a lot going for it. The animation is really good. It’s fast-paced and colorful. A lot of the talent involved actually comes to play. This includes John Leguizamo, Ray Romano, Queen Latifah, Adam Devine, Denis Leary, Nick Offerman, Josh Peck, Seann William Scott, Wanda Sykes, Jennifer Lopez, and Simon Pegg. The story just doesn’t work, and a lot of the jokes feel forced. There were points where I got laughs out of John Leguizamo (who made me annoyed half of the time), Denis Leary, and Simon Pegg. The rest of the characters are either bland or just obnoxious. The worst, by far, is Manny (voiced by Ray Romano, who actually puts effort into his work). I remember actually liking Manny in the first couple movies. But, here, he’s unlikable and mean-spirited. Something I notice more and more as the movies go on is that Scrat and his acorn shenanigans have little to do with the rest of the movie, even if it does offer the occasional laugh here and there. Collision Course is the movie in the franchise that tells me Ice Age has officially jumped the shark. Scrat, still in search of his acorn, somehow ends up in space, and uses a spaceship. From here, he creates the planets, pulls the moon into Earth’s orbit, and actually sends the meteors towards Earth, thus setting into motion the titular collision course. The saddest thing is that while the movie does get more tolerable later on, those first 15 minutes had settled in, making me so mad that enjoying the rest of the movie just got really difficult. Despite good animation, a few likable characters, and the occasional good, funny writing, I can’t say that I thought that this movie was good. However, I do kind of recommend it because, even for this series, Ice Age 5 is just plain weird.      

4 / 10

Don't Breathe

 

Image Source

A trio of friends rob houses with the purpose of saving up enough money to leave their broken, crappy lives in inner-city Detroit. One of the houses they decide to rob is the house of a blind army vet. The vet proves to be a formidable opponent (and one of the best horror movie villains I’ve seen in a long time). One of the things I like about this movie is that director Fede Alvarez and Rodo Sayagues understand character development. In any other movie, I would probably hate the three main characters. However, the characters are fairly well-developed, especially Rocky (played by Jane Levy). I understand her dilemma, and actually want her to succeed. Now, do I feel the character development is as strong as, say, Lights Out? No, but I do feel that it’s there. The beginning of the movie is a little slow. I actually like this because it builds character. Once they enter the house, the shit hits the fan. I loved the use of music in the movie too. It almost always seems to have sense of putting the viewer in edge. Stephen Lang as the blind man gives a performance that simultaneously makes the blind man frightening and sympathetic, something essential to a good villain. The blind man’s house makes for a great contained setting. It looks like an actual, run-down house, and it feels lived in. There are moments in the movie where certain sounds drop out, and they are incredibly effective. I also want to praise some of the more disturbing scenes (namely one involving a turkey baster). Don’t Breathe works as a nerve-racking display of suspense and horror, making for what I believe to be the best horror movie of the year so far.

9 / 10             

Lights Out

 

Image Source

In Lights Out, a family finds themselves tormented by a spirit from beyond the grave. The only catch is, this spirit can only attack when the lights are out. The family consists of Sophie (played by Maria Bello), a woman who has a history of mental illness, Martin (newcomer Gabriel Bateman), whom the spirit seems to affecting rather strongly, and Rebecca (played by Teresa Palmer), the protagonist of the film and my personal favorite character. Her struggle to help her estranged family and piece the overall mystery of what’s happening together. This is a movie I actually was very interested in, ever since I saw the trailer. The premise was something that intrigued me. First of all, I really want to compliment first time director Dan F. Sandberg. This is a guy who shows he knows how to build tension, and use scares effectively. But, he and writer Eric Heisserer also show an understanding of something I feel a lot of horror filmmakers today (save for a select few) miss is the idea of building character development, and actually making you care for the people who are in the movie itself. The characters are all strong and feel like they serve a purpose to the overall story. The actors all come to play and are pretty damn good in the movie. Teresa Palmer and Maria Bello are really good in the movie, in particular. Palmer gives off a performance as a young woman who has flaws, but genuinely cares about her younger brother. Bello, meanwhile plays a character who actively seems to care for her children, despite clearly not being all there. Occasionally, the movie will break its own rules, but not often, and never to a point I would’ve called this a bad movie. The spirit, called Diana, is a very effective villain in the movie. She makes the most of those moments where she has power, and I like that sort of determination in an antagonist. I can’t really call Lights Out the scariest movie I’ve ever seen, but it certainly is creepy. There are genuine moments of suspense and dread that are built up by strong acting, writing, directing, and editing for a really damn good summer horror movie. 

9 / 10