There is only one question to ask about the movie
The Apparition. What the hell was that? I suppose I should try to describe the movie's plot, but it doesn't really make any sense. I could describe the plot of the movie's trailer.
The plot of the actual movie is not the plot that the trailer tells you it is. If you don't believe me, click this link. This movie is awful. The easiest way I can describe this movie is like this: It feels like the shitty sequel you get to classic horror movies so that the studio can make money. The difference is, we don't have the classic original to go with this. But, I'd be lying if I said it doesn't belong in the same conversation as something like The Room. Yes, that's the kind of bad movie you get out of this. The acting is bad from pretty much everybody. Tom Felton's clearly the one trying, even if I can't say his performance is particularly great. I'll give him credit though because he obviously played a nothing character. I feel bad for Sebastian Stan. He's horrible in this movie. If you've seen Sebastian Stan in anything else, then you know he can act. Hell, the only other actor in this movie that rivals Tom Felton is a dog. Oh, I don't just mean that the acting is bad. I mean this like bad student film acting bad. Actually, the filmmaking gives of that kind of vibe too. Almost immediately, I thought to myself that this couldn't have actually been a theatrically released movie.It probably wouldn't have been released theatrically if it didn't star Draco Malfoy, the Winter Soldier, and one of the more interesting secondary females from Twilight. Do you want to know the kinds of scares this movie offers? A garage door opens itself in broad daylight. Yeah, that's about as scary as it sounds. The main characters are idiots. They're so stupid that Jason and Freddy victims would look at them with pity. Weird shit happens on the first night that they're in the house. The next morning, their first thought isn't to pack the car and leave. Just when I think the girl (I don't really care or remember what their names are) has started to develop a brain, she literally changes her mind 30 seconds later (almost like she realized she can't actually be intelligent). Also, the product placement in this movie makes Adam Sandler movies look subtle by comparison.
To make things even funnier, there's a good five minutes where our "heroine" is walking around in nothing but those clothes. They don't really try to hide the fact that it was just an excuse to get her in her underwear. I'll admit that I was a little bit surprised that this was the only scene in the movie that did this. But hey, the movie can't be too classy, can it? Oh, by the way, do you see the image on the poster? Well, that's the last shot of the movie. Now, you might be asking yourself why I spoiled that for you. The simple answer is that the movie spoils it. Otherwise, it wouldn't be the fucking poster! At a point I realized that this movie should have been about Tom Felton trying to summon spirits. Give that movie to Mike Flanagan, and there's actually a legitimately good flick to come out of this. Then again, we probably wouldn't have the amazing comedy that we got instead. The Apparition is a hilariously piss-poor horror movie. It never manages to scare you. It always manages to make laugh (even if it's completely unintentional).
0 / 10
Nice! Lol
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