Gods of Egypt

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So, this movie is called Gods of Egypt. Do you know what this movie has an abundance of? That’s right. White people playing Egyptians! Wait, what? Yeah, for some reason there isn’t a single Egyptian actor in this movie. Why? I don’t know. Here’s what I could make out in this incomprehensible, laughably awful mess of a movie. First off, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau and Gerard Butler are playing gods, yes. But, they’re also supposed to be playing nephew and uncle. Um, they are only a year apart in age. Gerard Butler has a very unconvincing tan, which only adds to the unintentional comedy of his entertainingly over the top performance. Gerard Butler and Geoffrey Rush don’t even seem to be aware that they are in this movie. There are legitimate attempts at humor, but they fall flat. This movie has some of the most atrocious writing I have ever seen. I love a line that Waldau has about a third of the way into the movie. He says something to the effect of “To kill the god of the desert, we must kill the desert itself.” My reaction was to laugh and say “What?!” Honestly, I can’t really be mad at this stupid movie. But I do have to be honest. The closest thing this movie has to a redeeming quality is that I found it hilarious, even though I don’t think that was really what the filmmakers were going for. Though, that’s hardly much of a compliment. As much as this movie did bring a smile to my face for all the wrong reasons, there really is only one rating I can give to this movie. 

0 / 10