Halloween II (2009)

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Here it is, the last film in the Halloween franchise I have to review (for now). I said in my review for Halloween: Resurrection that there was another film in this franchise I hated. This is it. It's almost difficult for me to say exactly why. The main thing is, I absolutely hate the direction that Rob Zombie takes the Loomis character, turning him into a caricature of an unlikable asshole. I also have similar problems with Laurie Strode as a character. She doesn't really feel sympathetic to me. In no way do I want to sleight the performances, as I actually think Malcolm McDowell and Scout Taylor-Compton do the best they can with they are given. It's just the way these two characters are written. It's so interesting because I actually think the Bracketts are a lot more likable in comparison. Okay, they aren't perfect. But, with these two, the Rob Zombie-isms feel a lot more toned down in comparison. Once again, I have to give props to Tyler Mane as Michael Myers. Though, I have to ask: Did we really need to hear him talk? It feels like that just takes some of the scariness out of the character. Again, that's not on the actor who plays him. I think that's a lot more on Rob Zombie's writing. The dream sequence stuff is weird, and doesn't really feel right to me in this movie, and in the universe of Halloween that Zombie has set up. I think the big thing for me is just that this is a Halloween movie. If this were some random slasher movie that Rob Zombie decided to make, I probably wouldn't have such a negative reaction. It works better for me if I just look at this as a Rob Zombie movie because he has a distinct style whether you like it or not. I almost appreciate that he does his thing with this movie. That's why I think I hate Resurrection more. This movie has more ambition to it. There's a bit more creativity in what Rob Zombie sets out to do. That doesn't mean I enjoy this, but it's one where my thoughts have changed ever so slightly. 

3 / 10 

Halloween (2007)

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This 2007 remake was written and directed by Rob Zombie. The film has the daunting task of trying to stand out against the original classic. Starting things off with the positives, I actually appreciate that the film tries to do something completely different from the original, at least in the first half. The film explores Michael's backstory. I understand that it is a very divisive choice for fans of the franchise, but I do think it's that first half I like a little bit better, especially when we get to the hospital segment. In my eyes, a remake that offers nothing new is one of the worst things a filmmaker can do, because it automatically renders that remake pointless. Rob Zombie's Halloween doesn't do that. A lot of the acting is actually pretty solid. Tyler Mane is excellent as Michael Myers. The guy is gigantic and gives Myers a sense of terrifying brutality. Brad Dourif and Danielle Harris are also really good in their roles as Sheriff Brackett and his daughter Annie respectively. While I don't love all of the choices they make with Doctor Loomis, I do have to give credit to actor Malcolm McDowell. He genuinely gives the part his all. The director's cut has perhaps one of my least favorite scenes. I feel like I have to bring this moment up because the director's cut is the more widely accessible version of the film. It's a moment I genuinely just find unpleasant. To be fair, that may also be the idea, as that is largely Rob Zombie's gimmick. Overall, I do enjoy this movie. I definitely recognize that it's got some problems, but I still genuinely enjoy it.

7 / 10 

Halloween: Resurrection

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There's a scene in this movie where Busta Rhymes yells at Michael Myers. At first glance, you assume that Michael is going to kill him. Instead, he turns around and walks away. I am bringing this scene up right now because it is probably the only part of the movie I genuinely enjoy. Halloween: Resurrection is one of the most popular picks from fans for least favorite Halloween film, and for good reason. This is the first movie in this franchise that I actively hate. Let's start with something I touched on a little bit in my review for H20 - that movie's ending. If this movie didn't exist, I would have no complaints with it. The fact that Resurrection does exist makes the ending to H20 feel cheapened, like it doesn't matter. They bring Jamie Lee Curtis back for this film, and kill her off in the first ten minutes. The problem is, I don't feel like this movie earns her death, at all. On top of that, I feel like Jamie Curtis just didn't want to be in this movie at all. The new characters that we are introduced to after this suck. I would have actually been a little more ok with it if they brought Josh Hartnett and Michelle Williams back, but they don't. We have an all new cast of thinly written dead bodies that I couldn't care less about. The acting is pretty poor all-around. Perhaps the worst example of this is Busta Rhymes. I actually enjoy his music, but this movie seems to want to prove that he CANNOT act. The ending is almost laughably bad. Michael Myers, an icon of horror, is defeated by Busta Rhymes doing kung fu. Oh, that's not a joke either. Overall, Halloween: Resurrection only seems to exist because the franchise, and the Michael Myers character make money. This movie is a lazy piece of shit that's only a thing because of money. There is one other movie in this franchise I hate (we'll get to that later). I think I hate this one more because there just seemed to be this attitude of "eh, let's make a Michael Myers movie just because."

1 / 10    

Zombieland: Double Tap

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Zombieland: Double Tap takes place ten years after the events of the first film. If there is any flaw that can be levied against this film, it would be that it isn’t as fresh as the first film (something that is very difficult for a sequel to accomplish). However, I still had a ton of fun with this movie. I didn’t go into it expecting something groundbreaking. I went into it wanting a film that was just going to be fun. Even after all these years, I still feel like the cast is having a ton of fun in their roles. The chemistry is still clearly there. I also love the new addition of Zoey Deutsch as Madison. In the hands of a less capable actress, this character would probably be grating. But, she’s a ton of fun. I’m glad the zombies have actually evolved in this film, and are broken down into subcategories. I also love the fact that there were actions taken by the characters during the first film’s events, and they have some acknowledgment in this film. I can’t say it’s as quotable as the first movie, but it’s still a lot of fun, and I really have to recommend this film to fans of the first movie. If you liked Zombieland, you’ll like Zombieland: Double Tap. 

8 / 10 

Halloween H20

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Twenty years have passed since the events of Halloween and Halloween II. Laurie Strode (played by Jamie Lee Curtis) has since faked her death and now lives in California under an alias, alongside her teenage son, John (played by Josh Hartnett). John makes Halloween plans with his friends and his  girlfriend Molly (played by Michelle Williams). Before too long, Michael Myers resurfaces after a long hibernation to wreak bloody havoc once again. The first thing to take note of is that this film actually ignores everything that happened after Halloween II, and that's something that honestly works in H20's favor. You see just how haunted Laurie Strode is, and you understand why she acts the she does. You also kind of understand John's perspective too. Until now, he hasn't had to deal with Michael Myers. In his eyes, Michael is dead. While the characters aren't super deep, you at least like most of them. The actors pretty much all do decent jobs with their roles. These aren't necessarily the best performances by these actors, but they serve the film well. The ending is something I have mixed feelings about. I do genuinely like it, but it's something I'll talk more about when I talk about Resurrection. The kills are pretty tame. They aren't awful, but they don't really do much to stand out to me. Most of the film's meta humor and dialogue works for me. However, every now and then, you do get a joke that doesn't land. A nitpicky complaint I've brought up with some of the past movies is when I don't particularly like Michael's mask. Well, there's a scene in this movie where the mask is CGI. 

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It looks genuinely bad. On top of that, I kind of feel like it's pointless. It was added during re-shoots to replace the mask that had already used, and apparently the scene couldn't be re-shot. So, I have to ask, was it worth it? Overall, I quite enjoy Halloween H20 as one of my personal favorites of the franchise. It's not a perfect movie by any means, but it is one of the films I have the most fun with. 

8 / 10 

Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers

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Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers is the final part of what Halloween fans dub the thorn trilogy. The film kind of takes what Halloween 5 sets up and doubles down on it, for better or worse. The film follows Tommy Doyle (played by Paul Rudd in his first film role) as he teams up with a young single mother, Kara Strode (played by Marianne Hagan) and doctor Sam Loomis (Donald Pleasance in his final film role) to put a stop to Michael Myers. Starting things off with the positives, Donald Pleasance once again proves to be the best thing about the film as a whole. Some of the kills can be creatively fun (one involving a fuse box truly stands out to me). George P. Wilbur is the first actor to play Michael Myers more than once, and he adds some solid brutality to Michael Myers as a character that I like. Then there’s everything else. While I like Paul Rudd fine enough as an actor, he’s honestly pretty bad in this movie. Some of the editing in this film is pretty bad, and there are moments that are honestly pretty difficult to make out. I also don’t like the direction they take the Jamie Lloyd character. Part of the problem for me is that she’s played by a completely different actress. J.C. Brandy is fine enough, but she doesn’t hold a candle to Danielle Harris. You can also see on screen that the producers, writers, and director all seemed to have very different ideas, making the final result a bit of a mess. Overall, my final thoughts on The Curse of Michael Myers feel very similar to my thoughts on Halloween 5. I don’t really have strong enough feelings to like it, but I don’t have strong enough feelings to truly hate it either. It’s mostly just kind of generic. I recognize that this is a bad movie, but I wish it was a little more entertainingly bad on the whole.

4 / 10 

Zombieland

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Zombieland follows a small group of survivors that come together to form an unlikely family in the wake of the zombie apocalypse. I knew this was a film I was going to have to talk about at some point, because it is a personal favorite of mine. The characters all have legitimate heart and depth to them. You understand where each of them is coming from. The actors all work off each other incredibly well. The film is the directorial debut for Ruben Fleischer (who would go on to direct Venom). The film is also written by Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick (who would both go on to write the two Deadpool movies). This is a combination that works incredibly well. For one thing, the film is unbelievably quotable. I am happy to say that Zombieland still holds up after ten years. This movie is a ton of gory fun. It doesn't have a ton in the way of plot, but I don't think a ton of plot is needed for this movie. I want to be with these characters because they are likable characters played by talented actors. I also have to appreciate the film's visual style. It actually feels unique to this movie. There's almost a meta tone to it (almost in the same vein as movies like Scream before it, or Tucker and Dale vs. Evil after it). I don't know if I can quite go that far, but I feel like Zombieland knows what it is, and runs with it. If you somehow still haven't seen it after all these years, and this review managed to sell you on seeing it, then do it. I adore this film, and I am so glad that it still holds up for me.

10 / 10